gudbye,you.

Since you left, I realized that love is nothing but bullshit. True love doesn't exist, and forever is just a lie between hello and good bye. But on the brightside is, I finally found the 'good' in 'good bye'. Well, to be honest, I ain't gonna pretend like I'm okay with all of this, like I'm doing well without you because the truth is it took all the power inside of me to let you go. It ain't an easy task to let go of the memories, and the dreams we've built together. Even though I knew it from the start, that there would be a time for us to stand by ourselves, to live our lives in our own way. I just can't stand the idea of you walking away without knowing that yes, I do regret. I regret my decision, and if only I could turn the hands of time, I'd stay in your arms forever and wouldn't ever let you go. But you've taken your own decision, and I respect yours like you did respect mine. So now, I wanna say thank you for everything, for the amazing 32 months full of beautiful memories. You're the best thing that's ever happened in my life. And I'm sorry, I can't be the best. But trust me, I've always tried to be, but I just could never be good enough.. No one's ever stuck with me for so long before. I wish you love, I wish you luck, for you the world just opens up, but don't forget about me, us. Always remember that I love you so much, I love you with all my heart, and my arms are always wide open for you whenever you want to come back home.

-

It’s the worst feeling in the world, to love and hate someone all at the same time. And it’s hard to watch things change when all you want is for them to stay the same. It’s funny but stupid how you want everything and nothing at the same time. It’s crazy when you want to let go, but you keep holding on, and when you want to move on but you’re stuck right where you started. When feelings come and go and you can’t decide what you want. When you have so many things to say but you don’t know where to start. When you want them in your life so bad, but all you can do is push them farther and farther away. It’s so hard to think back to how things used to be and look at it now and realize that things are different and they may never be the same. You tell yourself it’s not worth it, but if it really didn’t matter, you wouldn’t spend so much time thinking about it.

it hurts

Why they don't listen?
Why they don't understand?
It hurts being unwanted and seeing the others are completely okay and happy without you.
It hurts being unacceptable when every time what all we do is just being ourselves.
It hurts to be different when all you do is just making some confident with yourself.
It hurts to faked who you are when the others are accepting the faked you, not the real you.
It hurts to put the poker face mask when all you want is there will be someone who would care for you.
It hurts to cried when all you want is to be happy, to accept the truth and reality.
It hurts to be fear of the others when they know you are not a part of them.
It hurts for being left behind when all you wanna do is just to be with them, laugh and share a story with them.
It hurts when the others cheated on you when you all wanna know is the truth.
It hurts when the others lied to you, faked their face and story for you.
It hurts when someone underestimate you and doesn't want to know what you're capable of.
It hurts when they don't appreciate all of the things that you've done for them.

Maybe if you read this, take a look at yourself on the mirror.
Don't worry, I'll take a look at myself on the mirror.
No one wants to feel all those stuffs up there.
No one wants to be lonely.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY.

Happy Valentine's Day Love!!

Hopefully there'll be no more tears and drama.

Thank you for making me feel loved and smart

Thank you for letting me laugh at my self for fun and laughing along with me

Thank you for being you

This time I will fight to make things work better too.

ur honey,

 Wiendy 

NEW YEAR!

is this really the end, dear 2012? 'cause it's like only a blink of eye. remembering 2012 so far.... is like remembering.... nothing? i've been busy doing things, running, changing, working hard, to get the dream i've been dreaming. until now, these days, i'm still busy to chase almost everything. "you cant be as young as you are today". so i wanna spend it more on exploring my self. who am i?

and i have nooooo idea about 2013 resolution. i mean.. i've been having new year resolution for years and now i have no days off and i cant think much of things. but you know, life's keep going no matter what. so i'll try to cheerish every moment knowing that i cant bring the exact past into present. 

and now i really wanna thank Allah for the bless this year. this could be the year of awakening, maturity process, re-build my self. thank You, Allah, for letting me be this self. thank You for the lessons, the mistakes, the achievement. thank You...:) i would never thank You enough for the life You're giving to me:)

thankyou family, friends, and all. thank you....:) this year has been really good... with its ups and downs, i stilll can enjoy 2012. the year of total hard work, if i could name this year. thank you!!

I know, I know it's December 31st, 2012. Tomorrow means next year, yes? You get that? Hng alright forget that. Just like another fellas around the world, I wanna make a freaking list called resolutions. Well before all, resolution means a decision to do or to behave in a certain manner. So once again, it's resolutions AIN'T wishlist. It's something I have to do next year.

Note: This resolutions are randomly written. Fully random. Not like, the most important is number one, or this or that. It's random. Enjoy ☺

1. get closer to Allah, fix myself as a religious person-should be:)

2. Love myself before I can easily love another. 
I always blame myself for start a war with somebody else. It just sucks knowing that I'm that childish. I said to my brain that I have to love them all. Without exceptions. Now I know it's impossible to love another before I tryna love myself.

3. Achieve my goals.
Yes, every goals. Like, I have to increase my ability at everything. At studying, or another skills. Pass the national exams with super fantastic scores. And finally have an excellent school as my high school. Amin!

4. Learn something else, that exciting.
Almost everyday, anytime, anywhere, I just spend my spare time with internet, laptop, internet, hand phone, laptop, internet, hand phone. Maybe trying something exciting prevents boredom, forces myself to grow, or open amazing possibilities.

5. Stay fit and healthy.
Beside the majority of being healthy are increases energy, improves mood, controls weight, and more, it's my last year at junior high school. It'll be suxx, when I have to leave the school just because a fucking reason such as sick.

6. Enjoy life.
I only have one life to live. And I don't wanna end up as a loser: being alone and isolated, or sad and have no spirit to smile.


7. Spend less, save more. 
Oh yes it's about money. What the hell, I have to save more, and then spend it again for my favorite amazing activity.

8. Getting organized.
I realize that, there are so much time wasted just for cleaning up, looking for my stuffs, or  have to replace something I lost. Shit, I have to organize something more srsly.

9. Lose weight, gain more height.
Yeah, it's time to make a change.

10.can drive a car

11. have straight A for every block, smarter and more dilligent and discipline.  

12. inspire MANY people and have a healthy life style; good diets, regular exercise, drink more mineral water.

over all i only wanna be the better version of me in every possible way. amin:)

         That's all. What about you? Anyway. Happy, happy new year!