NEW YEAR!

is this really the end, dear 2012? 'cause it's like only a blink of eye. remembering 2012 so far.... is like remembering.... nothing? i've been busy doing things, running, changing, working hard, to get the dream i've been dreaming. until now, these days, i'm still busy to chase almost everything. "you cant be as young as you are today". so i wanna spend it more on exploring my self. who am i?

and i have nooooo idea about 2013 resolution. i mean.. i've been having new year resolution for years and now i have no days off and i cant think much of things. but you know, life's keep going no matter what. so i'll try to cheerish every moment knowing that i cant bring the exact past into present. 

and now i really wanna thank Allah for the bless this year. this could be the year of awakening, maturity process, re-build my self. thank You, Allah, for letting me be this self. thank You for the lessons, the mistakes, the achievement. thank You...:) i would never thank You enough for the life You're giving to me:)

thankyou family, friends, and all. thank you....:) this year has been really good... with its ups and downs, i stilll can enjoy 2012. the year of total hard work, if i could name this year. thank you!!

I know, I know it's December 31st, 2012. Tomorrow means next year, yes? You get that? Hng alright forget that. Just like another fellas around the world, I wanna make a freaking list called resolutions. Well before all, resolution means a decision to do or to behave in a certain manner. So once again, it's resolutions AIN'T wishlist. It's something I have to do next year.

Note: This resolutions are randomly written. Fully random. Not like, the most important is number one, or this or that. It's random. Enjoy ☺

1. get closer to Allah, fix myself as a religious person-should be:)

2. Love myself before I can easily love another. 
I always blame myself for start a war with somebody else. It just sucks knowing that I'm that childish. I said to my brain that I have to love them all. Without exceptions. Now I know it's impossible to love another before I tryna love myself.

3. Achieve my goals.
Yes, every goals. Like, I have to increase my ability at everything. At studying, or another skills. Pass the national exams with super fantastic scores. And finally have an excellent school as my high school. Amin!

4. Learn something else, that exciting.
Almost everyday, anytime, anywhere, I just spend my spare time with internet, laptop, internet, hand phone, laptop, internet, hand phone. Maybe trying something exciting prevents boredom, forces myself to grow, or open amazing possibilities.

5. Stay fit and healthy.
Beside the majority of being healthy are increases energy, improves mood, controls weight, and more, it's my last year at junior high school. It'll be suxx, when I have to leave the school just because a fucking reason such as sick.

6. Enjoy life.
I only have one life to live. And I don't wanna end up as a loser: being alone and isolated, or sad and have no spirit to smile.


7. Spend less, save more. 
Oh yes it's about money. What the hell, I have to save more, and then spend it again for my favorite amazing activity.

8. Getting organized.
I realize that, there are so much time wasted just for cleaning up, looking for my stuffs, or  have to replace something I lost. Shit, I have to organize something more srsly.

9. Lose weight, gain more height.
Yeah, it's time to make a change.

10.can drive a car

11. have straight A for every block, smarter and more dilligent and discipline.  

12. inspire MANY people and have a healthy life style; good diets, regular exercise, drink more mineral water.

over all i only wanna be the better version of me in every possible way. amin:)

         That's all. What about you? Anyway. Happy, happy new year!

rain

i hate rain because its dark
i hate rain because its cold
i hate rain because its wet
i hate rain because its flood
i hate rain because its thunder

i love rain because its smell
i love rain because its romantic
i love rain because its water
i love rain because its games
i love rain because its serenity

gimme rain and i'll dance
i'll sing out loud and laugh a lot
'cause i'm just lost in memory of you
and no one can help me now

Holiday=Boring

well, i'm becoming someone new this holiday. i mean i lost my personality since i don't do anything this holiday. i just spend it in my room, online, singing, dancing, reading, listening music, and others. i don't even talk much with family or friends. i have no activity to do. i'm totally a boring!

simple life. don't you miss that? i miss it so much. when i am on junior high school, i only have few friends, but they all are warm and nice, friends of my friends and some close schoolmates. aaaah i miss them. but now, i have many friends here, but i don't even believe in them. i still wondering, who's the person that i can believe in and not. who's the person that could bring me to the bad side and good side. who's the person that just would hurt me or cheer me up. they all are fakers. i don't believe in any of them. i'm sick of those people who call their selves 'friend' but they don't do anything to prove and worse, they do things that break that fact. I'M SICK OF THOSE PEOPLE.

how will i pass this holiday? with no plan and boring television. with no book to read with no good music to listen. with no person to hang out with with nothing to do.

welcome boring holiday!!!

Be Thankful

there are few things you should be thankful on. first, be thankful of your God. second, be thankful of your family. third, be thankful of your friends. fourth, be thankful of who you are. fifth, be thankful of what you have. and the last, be thankful of what happened.


be thankful of your God. it's such a great thing to believe in one God like Him. we have ONE thing to believe in, one thing to strengthen up us, in every condition. one thing to keep us believe in wonderful world. one thing to make us optimistic after a total big storm. God is everything. and alhamdulillah i am a Muslim.

be thankful of your family. this is place where we come from. they love us unconditionally. they support us however it is. they believe in us. they let us grow but keep take care of us. they educate us, with every way. they show us the real love that nobody has showed yet. they are sincerely give an affection, just to make us comfortable with life. there's no better place but home.

be thankful of your friends. they are nice people that understand you and will do anything for your happiness. what's better than that? they're there when you're upset, they're there when you need splash of fun. they don't judge of whatever you do, they only support. they love you, they protect you. they will never make you sad, or feeling down. they make you believe in yourself and get your confidence. and if they aren't like that, they are not your friend. don't ever think about the not-friend. it's worthless.

be thankful of who you are. nobody's like you. you are different. you are charming. you are nice and have such a beautiful face. you are great. you love everybody surrounding. you give spirit. you influence others..... or at least, you're true to your self; you're not faking your self, you don't copy others, you are becoming who you want to be. it's a really good thing because not everyone has a confidence to be their own self.

be thankful of what you have. you might be not realize EVERY single thing you have is really precious right now, but just imagine, if they all are gone. for the simplest example is: what if you lost your eyes? what if you lost your legs? what if you lost your hands? this is really simple and very close to us yet REALLY important but we may forget how great they are. so, be thankful for ANYTHING you have.

the last, be thankful of what happened. God has a certain mission for you in every single happened thing. you don't have to regret or worry too much about that, you'll be better after that, if you try to learn from that. you will not get anything out of your strength. what's happened only make you better. if you know how to deal with that.


so please, be thankful for everything in life:

mixed feelings.

Do you ever get that feeling where you don't want to talk to anybody?
You don't want to smile and you don't want to fake being happy. 
But at the same time you don't know exactly what's wrong either. 
There isn't a way to explain it to someone who doesn't already understand.
If you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone.
People have stopped being comforting and being along never was. 
At least when you're alone no one will constantly ask you what is wrong and there isn't anyone who won't take 'I don't know' for an answer. 
You feel the way you do just because.
You hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do is wait.. wait..
Mixed feelings, i dont really like this feelings. i feel so strange

guys must read this~

Boy: I broke up with her.
His Best Friend: What happened?
Boy: She’s just too much for me.
His Best Friend: What makes you say that? What did she do wrong?
Boy: Well, for one.. She only cared about her appearance. Always had to look good, always took forever to get dressed! So insecure..
His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she wanted to keep your eyes locked on her? She wanted you to see that you have the prettiest girl under your sleeve and not think otherwise? I see..
Boy: Oh.. Well.. She’d often call me or text me asking where I am, who I’m with, telling me not to smoke, not to drink. She’s so clingy!
His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she cares about your well being? Because she cares about you a lot? And her greatest fear is losing you. I see..
Boy: But.. Uhh.. Well, she’d always cry when I say something slightly mean. She can’t handle anything. She’s a crybaby!
His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she has feelings? And because she just wanted to hear you say you love her? I see..
Boy: I.. Well! You know, she’d get jealous easily. I could barely talk to other girls! She’s so annoying! I had to hide it from her so she wouldn’t bitch about it.
His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she just wanted you to commit to her? She thought you were faithful, but you lied so she could find out later and hurt even more? She just wanted the guy she loves the most to love only her. I see..
Boy: Well, she..
His Best Friend: You broke up with her because she’s good for you? She just wanted the best for you? She’s broken now because you were selfish. Are you proud?
Boy: I broke her heart.. Because I couldn’t see what was happening.. What happened to me?
His Best Friend: You lost the girl that loved you like no one else could. You see? You didn’t want her when all she ever wanted was you. THAT’S what happened.

brought tears to my eyes.

Boy: Hey, hun!
Girl: Hey.
Boy: I missed you at school today. Why weren't you there?
Girl: Yeah, I had to go to the doctor.
Boy: Oh really? Why?
Girl: Oh, nothing. Just some annual shots, that's all.
Boy: Oh.
Girl: So what did you guys do in Math today?
Boy: You didn't miss anything that great, just a lot of notes.
Girl: Okay, good.
Boy: Yeah.
Girl: Hey, I have a question to ask.
Boy: Okay, ask away.
Girl: How much do you love me?
Boy: You know I love you more than anything in this world.
Girl: Yeah.
Boy: Why did you ask?
Girl: *silence*
Boy: Is something wrong?
Girl: No. Nothing at all. Um. How much do you care about me?
Boy: I would give you the world in a heartbeat if I could.
Girl: You would?
Boy: Yeah of course I would. *sounding worried* Is there something wrong?
Girl: No, everything's fine.
Boy: Are you sure?
Girl: Yeah.
Boy: Okay. I hope so.
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: I would take a bullet for you any day, hun.
Girl: Really?
Boy: Any day. Now, seriously, is there something wrong?
Girl: No, I'm fine. You're fine. We're fine. Everyone and everything is fine.
Boy: Okay.
Girl: Well, I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow at school.
Boy: Alright, bye. I love you!
Girl: Yeah. I love you too. Bye.
THE NEXT DAY AT SCHOOL
Boy: Hey, have you seen my girlfriend today?
Friend: No.
Boy: Oh.
Friend: She wasn't here yesterday, either.
Boy: I know. She was acting all weird on the phone last night.
Friend: Well, dude, you know how girls are sometimes.
Boy: Yeah, but not her.
Friend: I don't know what else to say, man.
Boy: Okay, well I gotta get to English. I'll see ya after school.
Friend: Yeah I gotta get to Science. Later.
THAT NIGHT
Girl: Hello?
Boy: Hey.
Girl: Oh, hey.
Boy: Why weren't you at school today?
Girl: Uh, I had another appointment with the doctor.
Boy: Are you sick?
Girl: Um, I have to go. My mom’s calling on the other line.
Boy: I’ll wait.
Girl: It may take a while. I’ll call you later.
Boy: Alright. I love you.
-very long pause-
Girl: *with a tears in her eyes* Look, I think we should break up.
Boy: What?!
Girl: It’s the best thing for us right now.
Boy: Why?
Girl: I love you.
THE GIRL DOESN’T COME TO SCHOOL FOR 3 MORE WEEKS AND DOESNT ANSWER HER PHONE
Boy: Hey dude.
Friend: Hey.
Boy: What’s up?
Friend: Nothing. Hey, have you talked to your ex lately?
Boy: No.
Friend: So you didn’t hear?
Boy: Hear what?
Friend: Um, I don’t know if I should be the one to tell you…
Boy: Dude, just tell me!
Friend: Uh. Call this number, 433-555-3468.
Boy: Okay, thanks!
BOY CALLS THE NUMBER AFTER SCHOOL
Voice: Hello, Suppam County Hospital. This is Nurse Victoria.
Boy: Uh, I must have the wrong number. I’m looking for my friend.
Voice: What is their name, sir?
*boy gives info*
Voice: Yes, this is the right number. She’s one of our patients here.
Boy: Really? Why? What happened? How is she?
Voice: Her room number is 646 in building A, suite 3.
Boy: WHAT HAPPENED?!
Voice: Please come by, sir, and you can see her. Goodbye.
Boy: WAIT! NO!
THE BOY GOES TO HOSPITAL, AND TO ROOM 646, BUILDING A, SUITE 3. THE GIRL IS LYING IN THE HOSPITAL BED.
Boy: Oh my God, are you okay?
Girl: *silence*
Boy: Dear, talk to me!
Girl: I..
Boy: You what?
Girl: I have cancer and I’m on life support.
Boy: *breaks into tears*
Girl: They're taking me off tonight.
Boy: Why?
Girl: I wanted to tell you, but I couldn’t .
Boy: Why didn’t you tell me?
Girl: I didn’t want to hurt you.
Boy: You could never hurt me.
Girl: I just wanted to see if you felt about me the same as I felt about you.
Boy: Huh?
Girl: I love you more than anything. I would give you the world in a heartbeat. I would die for you and take a bullet for you.
Boy: *crying*
Girl: Don’t be sad. I love you and I’ll always be there with you.
Boy: Then why did you break up with me?
Nurse: Young man, visiting hours are over.
The boy leaves and later that night the girl is taken off of life support and dies, but what the boy didn’t know is that the girl only asked him those questions so she could hear him say it one last time. She only broke up with him because she knew she only had 3 more weeks left to live and thought that it would cause him less pain and give him time to get over her before she died.
NEXT DAY
The boy is found dead with a gun in one hand and a note in the other.
THE NOTE SAID:
“I told her that I would take a bullet for her, just like she said she would die for me.”